{fade in…} I was being driven by a chauffeur through a scenic area. We stopped at a day camp area because I wanted to check it out. I had a baby I was responsible for, but didn’t want to carry it around so I decide I could leave it in the car because I wouldn’t be long.
In the dream, I kept getting distracted by conversation or things to look at. I knew I needed to check on the baby, but by the next day, I still hadn’t taken the time to check on it. Finally I went down the hill (it was a tough walk – a dirt road while I was wearing heels) to the car. I was pretty sure the baby would be dead, but I figured I had enough money to hire a lawyer if I got into trouble and would be ok. I was also feeling a little relieved that if it was dead I wouldn’t have to deal with it anymore.
I got to the car and opened the door. The baby was in the front seat — and almost dead. I fed it (somehow I was lactating in this dream with the borrowed baby?) and it was ok. Then I remembered there was another baby on the floor in the backseat. It was wrapped in a blanket and I was pretty sure it was either starved or smothered or both. I lifted it up and its face was all grey and wrinkled. It looked pretty dead, but as I held it up a breeze blew in the window and it started breathing. Immediately the color came back into its face and it was alive. I remember thinking simultaneously “it’s still alive!” and “it doesn’t really happen that way; things don’t get better so quickly.”
Then this baby started pooping. Like, extremely large torso-sized poops. It was all over the backseat and did have anywhere to put the baby nor anything to clean it up with, and of course the poop was starting to get everywhere.
I had the chauffeur drive us to get some wipes at the store [this is the point in the dream where I stop remember what happens exactly] but I couldn’t find anyway. At this point, I was kinda getting tired of those babies again… {fade out…}


i have a pretty good idea of what this dream was about… but would love to hear any thoughts…


2010 resolutions

January 18, 2010

I don’t want to overwhelm myself and then get all angsty as the end of the year rolls around and I realize this list could become one more indication of failure, but I gotta try at least, right?

2010 — starting out the decade:
~I will cut down on my homework procrastination (obviously i’m already sucking at that one)
~I’d like to post on this blog at least once a month
~start some yoga so when i’m 80 my back will still work
~let go of some of that sadness and anger. repeat. repeat.
~be in the moment (and keep figuring out what it means/looks like to actually do that)
~make my lunch for work in advance ( =more snoozing!)

that’s all i can think of now… ok, stop procrastinating…