Happy Birthday to us!

December 15, 2008

We just took Liz K out to dinner at for her birthday (we had indian food — excellent!).

Liz & Scott at dinner

Liz & Scott at dinner

Even though it was dinner for her birthday, she actually brought a gift for me — a belated gift for my birthday that she’s been working on. It was a collection of cards that she handmade for various occasions — birthdays, get well, miss you, etc. They are BEAUTIFUL and i LOVE them. If you have ever received a card from Liz then you know what I am talking about. This woman has a gift. Seriously. I LOVE my gift! She knows my heart… and it makes me happy.

me, liz and my belated-but-worth-the-wait prezzie

my birthday gift from liz
my birthday gift from liz

I only made her one measly card, although we did buy her dinner, but still. Her gift was so awesome. I can’t wait to use them, but then I almost don’t want to cuz they’re so awesome. If you’re reading this, Thanks friend!! 🙂


created by my ovaries

December 11, 2008

omg. when is my period going to start? seriously. too many hormones.

i was laying on the couch, reading a book, and my brain just switched over into hormone mode. because i know my mother reads this, i will not go into detail. but i sorta realized it was hormone mode, and then thought about all the other craziness hormone mode creates in me. and then i had this thought: i sort of get a thrill out of the rollercoaster of hormones. it’s like an exciting movie or a road trip: what’s around the next bend?!?! I mean, as far as my pms-y moods go, I feel like they’re not too extreme each month, but then, like, every three months or something, it gets really bad. i need specific things at specific times. and i wont put up with your crap. (case in point: today i went to this school for a work thing, and this lady wasn’t there that was supposed to be there. and i sighed and said “oh dolores” like she was an errant child that i didn’t know what to do with. she’s a 50 year old woman. i did this in front of the secretary, like some pretentious little snot. it was terrible.) the hormones are like a creature i have to keep in check. it’s a challenge. it’s exciting to see how far i can push it before i have a meltdown.

i feel really stressed about work, my personal life, and all the obligations i have — all things that i pretty much enjoy and look forward to, but it’s still stress — and so the hormones just turn all that regular stuff up to an 11.

i feel weird writing about this in a public way. but the hormones tell me YES. the hormones always want to say YES.

i have been thinking about the hormones more after downloading this book called “bonk: the curious coupling of science and sex,” which is completely fascinating and science-y and not pervy. really.
hormones do a lot, my friends. read or download the book from the san diego public library website and you shall know. we think we make our own choices but we are wrong. all those paranoid conspiracy-theorists have got one thing right: there are things beyond our control that have power over us.

but i think just being aware of that fact helps to us gain a little control. I mean, it’s nice to know i’m feeling this way, at least, to this spinal-tap intensity of 11, because of the hormones, so it’s not necessarily as “real” as it might feel. i just wish i could think of that before the meltdown, ya know?

new poem

December 3, 2008

i am still mulling this one over, but i like it. what do you call that feeling???

by Patrick Phillips

Touched by your goodness, I am like
that grand piano we found one night on Willoughby
that someone had smashed and somehow
heaved through an open window.

And you might think by this I mean I’m broken
or abandoned, or unloved. Truth is, I don’t
know exactly what I am, any more
than the wreckage in the alley knows
it’s a piano, filling with trash and yellow leaves.

Maybe I’m all that’s left of what I was.
But touching me, I know, you are the good
breeze blowing across its rusted strings.

What would you call that feeling when the wood,
even with its cracked harp, starts to sing?